Like everyone said, if you're dead serious about your depression issue, I'll tell you this.
I'm suffering from depression for over 8 years. Both of us are on the same boat here.
Recently I broke up with a girl that meant everything to me, we were very close to be in a good relationship but she fucked it up because of her shit behavior and reactions. I told her the truth, she didn't liked the idea of me knowing the truth so she wanted to feed my brain with lies, which didn't work out pretty well. She didn't want to admit she was in love with me. I had amazing times with her, she was just perfect for me.
I've been going off work and every night I've been crying because I knew we were done. I'm still heartbroken and anytime I think about her, my heart races to the limit where it could stop. She doesn't want to talk with me, neither see me or anything. Probably worst few days of my life.
Then a week earlier I lost $200 within 20 minutes, and that was all I had when it comes to money.
I found a job recently and so far I love it. It's not like I'll stay there for ages, but until the next year I most likely will. My boss seems to be a great guy and workmates seem to be nice.
Thinking about someone who I loved and cared about is just too depressing and heartbreaking.
I wanted to end it all yesterday. I felt so worthless, I felt like everything tore apart in my life. I literally have no hope for any relationships anytime soon, especially after what she's done to me. She literally doesn't give a fuck about me and how I feel. She was that kind of girl that didn't even think of manipulating me.
I wanted to end my life three times and all three times were failure. One time I almost had done it, twice was mostly thinking about it and I guess yesterday was fourth time. Trust me, it's very hard for me. Today I have to see her to give me back my USB she took from me since it's a favorite USB of mine.
You have a life to live, and I have a life to live. It won't be easy to see her almost every day. I know exactly how you feel and trust me, the last thing you want is to hurt yourself. You're gonna hurt yourself, your family and your friends. My mom wouldn't know what she would do without me because she knows what I'm going through. Don't hurt your family man. Don't do it because of them.
Keep it together, cry yourself to sleep, it helps me because next morning I feel much better.
I never went for professional help because I don't trust these morons, they care more about money than my own health. You can do it man, I'm definitely sure of it. :)
