Well I thought I might weigh in here with some words of wisdom(?) for my craftybruvvers. I too have wrestled with dark thoughts. Governing your personal psychology takes practice and discipline. But don't think you are alone in this, all men have demons. The trick is to keep them in the bottle.

I was helped greatly by the Tibetan Book of the Dead, some of it I shall be paraphrasing.

First you need to understand your pain. It stems from your feeling of loss and your attachment to what is lost. This could be anything. The most common is when a relative dies, we feel grief, but it is crucial to understand that your grief comes not the fact that your relative has died, but from the fact that YOU have lost access to them. Whatever support, material or emotional, that may have been forthcoming in the future had they survived has been deprived from YOU and that is why you feel loss. This is why, the closer the relative or friend that is lost, the harder the grief is to bear. This is the most common form of grief we all have to bear. Most will come to acceptance soon though, as the passing is undeniable, especially after the funeral.

But some losses are harder to accept. What if you had a attachment to an idea you didn't even really know you had? For example, you may have had an idea for a chosen career and it didn't work out. That would count as a loss. You might be trying to play it down and pass it off (mainly to yourself) as not such a big loss. But if you don't accept your loss and move on it could be a permanent drag on your subconcious and cause a depression.

The key to all this is acceptance. You need to be self aware of your attachments. That way its much easier to write off failures and learn from your experience.

Doge, It seems to be (although I could be wrong, cos I'm not you, but based on what I've read...) That you are suffering loss because of the destruction of mental image of you Father. Bearing in mind that the Father is an archetype, and yours isn't living up to it. You need to accept that your Father is only human. Accept what he has done, or hasn't done. It might not be pretty, but its real.

Examine your own conduct. You are in clear violation of rule 5. When you refused his invitation into that elevator you basically dissed him in public. In his mind he offers the olive branch and you threw it on the ground. This gives him no choice but to shit all over you, otherwise he looks weak. (Our Fathers outrank us, and always will. Accept it.)

Men, never argue with your fathers or question them in public. In private you can go all out, just so long as what was said remains between you two. Rule 5 makes the top 10 for a reason. Make life easy on yourselves.

Develop interests (outside of Minecraft) and form friendships with the men you will meet while pursuing these interests. As for the girl, invite her out for coffee, if shes says yes great. If no then I wouldn't spare her another moments thought. You can try, but my advice is you cant make friends with Eve then expect her to come through for you in a tight spot. She wont. Men for friendship... women are for something else...

I hope this helps.. Probably not much at first

Of course if after you have considered all this and still want to kill yourself, take comfort in the fact that we are all going to die eventually anyway, so you might aswell stick around to see if anything interesting happens in the meantime

"There is nothing extraneous that that which originates (from the mind)
Therefore you must examine your own mind, questioning its nature again and again"

Yours sincerely

Some geezer

I can vouch for PenguinMYTMJ he is a tru bruvver NOOT NOOT!

I couldnt find the entrance dont shit it down yet!

RIP The Katharan Order

Well if it does I never noticed it

The torch in hand light wont work without them. That effect is an effect of the shader itself, not optifine.

I feel like its worth pointing out that using shaders in the dark is harder than normal, even with the dynamic light hand torch. Areas not exposed to light are literally pitch black, whereas normally you can see pretty well with brightness on maximum. But in the day oh! So damn pretty.

This is a video that proves he hacks.

Longer video available on request.

Please break any you find. Blackshop coords that is, not Masa signs XD