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  1. 7 years ago

    It's not a matter of being right vs. solving the problem. Usually things are a tiny bit more complicated than that. Thing is you do have the choice in any argument to ask yourself whether it matters to you that you are right more than it matters to you that you are happy. If you decide that you don't want to waste a long time of your day having that argument and then feeling like shit for the rest of the day regardless of if were right or wrong, then you can just decide to leave. Of course, that does not in any way mean that you have the right to be an ass and just ignore them when they want to talk to you. Although I really enjoy a nice, quiet and peaceful time, I also do enjoy debating, and sometimes even start finding myself bitching about random shit, (I want to apologize to @CodyJProductions and everyone else I spent some time with on this server that had to go through my bullshit).

    With that said, I think you should always remember if an argument is meaningful in any way to you (most of the times it's not) and act accordingly.

  2. An argument by definition is not productive. There’s usually at least one underlying issue that sparks and sustains an argument: feeling entitled to something that wasn’t given or given properly. This can respect, money, love, the right of way, etc

    What you are asking is a person’s priority in an argument. The answer is it depends. The same argument you have with a peer may be different from one with a spouse and again different from a random stranger off the street. That’s entirely dependent on your investment in said person. In general you’re more likely to admit fault even when it’s not yours and problem solve with someone you’re invested in, and try to prove you’re right with a peer, and with a stranger try and prove they are wrong.

    Problem solving would be ideal but arguments are typically driven by emotion, which inhibits rationale thought. You’re swimming against the current when you try to problem solve in the middle of an argument.

    That’s why it’s far better to avoid the argument and talk when things have calmed down and maybe even express your concerns/feelings before asking to table a topic leading into an argument.

    The short answer to your question is I prefer to avoid and/or problem solve.