i'm really sorry for posting this here, especially publicly, but at least i know you'll probably read it if i put it here, LJ. i don't know when you'll check your messages, but i think you'll check this forum, at least. i don't care how embarrassed i am about it, i need to get this out... to you.
you stopped talking to me and removed me from your friends' list without warning. i know, i probably did something wrong, and i'm really sorry. i'm sorry i haven't been a good enough friend to you. i tried so hard, at first, but then i guess i started being a little less of a good friend, to protect myself... i made myself a bit more stone cold, selfishly
i know, you don't want to be friends anymore. you've done this once before, blocking me out and ignoring my messages, and i don't... really understand why you ever went back to being friends with me after that. did you just want someone that would do whatever you say? well, i'm your guy... so you weren't wrong, i guess.
i want you to know that i really, really liked you, i still do. despite how many other people told me i should stop being your friend, i didn't want to. you were excitement, you were mischief, you were blunt, painful honesty. you were someone i knew for a long time, and despite all the stuff you did to other people, i just... couldn't let you go.
you've probably known this for a while, but i had, and still have, such a crush on you. but i have to get over that. i will get over it. i have to let you go, like you let me go.
i haven't seen you online. you left the cm discord chat. i haven't seen you log onto the server in days. wherever you are, i hope you're okay. this is such a pointles mess, haha... i'm sorry. you probably don't even care about this, LJ.
i'm not going to check the replies on this, and i'm not going to check this forum anymore. sorry to anyone who reads this that isn't LJ, and i'm sorry for posting it, but please leave it up for a bit so he can see it, if that's okay.
thank you for being my friend for this long, and please... never, ever talk to me again.
goodbye.